An Artist’s Fear

I fear touching a wet brush to white canvas.
I fear making an impression in smooth clay.
I fear penning a word to be spoken.

I fear revealing an idea before it is a reality.
I fear defining a piece as finished, with hopes of improving it.
I fear showing a complete work to new eyes because it may be more valuable in mine.

I love to create, whether to write or to paint.
but I fear.
I fear the imperfections and crooked lines.
I fear judgment & lack of awe.
I fear the onlooker who criticizes.

An artist’s fears surmount to rejection.
I fear rejection.

Fear weighs an artist down, holds the brush back, and keeps one from creating.
Fear hides creations away.

But faith finds victory over fear.

Faith finds beauty in every stroke of the brush.
Faith sees purpose in every indent of the clay.
Faith feels meaning in every penned word.

Faith sees potential in ideas,
and has peace in calling a work finished.

Faith finds comfort in the fact that every eye interprets differently,
and every heart feels a unique sense of awe.

Faith knows that every onlooker will judge and many will reject,
but faith also knows rejection is temporary,
and making a permanent impact on a single soul is worth a million rejections.

Faith enlightens the artist, fuels the brush, and inspires one to create.
Faith brings art to life.

Faith is the art that overcomes rejection.

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inspired by Acts 17:24-28

It refreshes my soul
It restores my joy
It causes my heart to beat

The breath of my Creator.

It leads me out of stagnance
It humbles me to my knees
It gives me hope in hopelessness

The breath of my Savior

It brings me to reach for God when I can not see
It protects me from life’s heat
It moves my cold heart to action

The breath of my Father

It drips down a wooden cross
It cleanses my impurities
It defines me

The love of my God

Darling Endure the Dark

Your life is a ray of sunlight, dimming beneath the horizon,
with it fades all stamina your heart seemed to possess.
As the sun gradually sets, your head is grounded from the clouds,
plunging you, exhausted and breathless, into the darkness of night.
The night is dreary, solitary.
Darkness is thick with grief, pain,
and echoes of a wondering, wandering heart
but darling endure the dark.
Although darkness trails every picturesque sunset,
a glorious sunrise trails every dark night.
Your life is a ray of sunlight, saturated with morning colors, beaming over the horizon.
In a moment the earth is lit, and the sky is relieved of dark clouds; sunrise.
As the sun sets don’t lose heart,
darling endure the dark.

The sun will rise.
The sun will set.
The sun will rise again.
darling endure the dark.

Soak in warmth,
embrace light,
daily with courage embark,
and oh darling,

endure the dark.

stay gold

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay.
Robert Frost

Gold. Pure. New. Untainted. Innocent. Childlike.  Robert Frost was onto a true treasure.
Why is the beauty of nature’s first gold so hard to appreciate over the years?
Why is each leaf and flower so much more astounding in the eyes of a child?
Why do our eyes lose the awe of the immense beauty around us?

Why is it that nothing gold can stay?

I found something gold, someone gold.
Beautiful.  Joyful.
A child with a creative mind, a pure gold heart, and a pure white smile.
And he couldn’t stay.

I have no prophetic vision of the meaning of death.
I have no words to sooth the pain of living.
I have no refreshing thoughts to inspire another breath.

I have a longing for answers,
a longing for strength,
a longing for one more hug,
and a longing for gold.

I’ve seen gold, felt its inspiration, and breathed its awe.
And I wonder how any icy heart could see such gold and not thaw.
My hurts burns from this loss, even knowing it had a cause.

The truth of the matter is we are all gold in our Father’s eyes.
Though we sin on earth, we are meant for heavenly lives.
We cannot stay here old or young,
though insufficient are the words of my tongue,
when dawn goes down to day, and gold can no longer stay,
my heart will continue to say, Lord I praise Your golden name.

But until my dawn sinks down to day,
I will share the pain yet untold.
Onto nature’s first green I will hold.
I will stay gold.

Dedicated to Hudson Finn Lundgren.
9.23.2015

adventure calls

I hear it in the shifting breeze and tide receding along the beach,
I hear it in the sun’s warm rays and repetitive radio waves,

I hear it in a journal’s blank pages and the worn dusty footprints of familiar places,
I hear it in my soul, begging to be fulfilled

adventure calls

it calls my lungs to breath new air
it calls my feet on a new path to wear,

it calls to attempt something new,
Aquinoit calls to challenge myself and see colors of a different hue,

I’m seeking new sights, tastes and sounds,
I’m answering the call of adventure,
Going where routine can’t be found.

Sand, Sunshine, Smiles, & Saltwater

Enclosed by concrete walls and grey paints,
mind and body stressed with to-do lists and complaints

Faces pale from indoor air and 45 watt bulbs,
legs wear from pacing,
living on roads that never curve.

Sometimes we let everything overwhelm us.
But honestly, everything is nothing.
Little things distract us so easily
and we forget what we truly need.

Standing here on a grainy, rocky shore,
A five year old’s giggle tells me there is more.

Please know,
Your family is greater than your appearance.
And your friends are greater than your social status.

Please know,
The people serving you are greater than the service you receive.
and perfection is something you will simply never achieve.

There are greater challenges among us.


Looking into the brightest smile I’ve ever seen,
my soul aches to share with you and rebuild within me,
a heart that trusts.

We tire from the mundane things we submerge ourselves into.
We need to resurface and breathe,
take a moment, absorb the beauty of the beach.

This one little smile taught me so much.
How to care for my heart and still share its love.
This one little smile, if put into words,
would sing you his song of the sea and the birds.

Savor the taste of the sea and the sky,
Ask aloud when your heart wonders why,
When your body aches and feet begin to totter,
Sometimes you need a dose of sand, sunshine, smiles, & saltwater.

~Dedicated to dear little Hudson who is battling Cancer and inspired me with his smile~

4.10.2015

Photographs

Photographs.  Snapshots.  Instas.  Portraits.  Pictures.  Kodaks.  Polaroids.
We love images.
It’s like we crave the nostalgic high from photos.
Old photos.
Family photos.
Artistic photos.
I’m obsessed with them!
Cherished memories.
Familiar places.
Things I’ve accomplished.
Things I hope to achieve.
I love reliving moments and capturing a silent emotion in the form of a photo.  Don’t you?
There is something beautiful about the ability to secure every detail of a scene in a single frame that can be viewed on a screen or printed on glossy paper for years to come.
I’m so thankful for photographs.  But I don’t live in them. 
Though the moment is preserved, time proceeds onward.
Photos are to cherish,
To bring joy,
Photos are not to restrain you,
Not to bring sorrow.
Nothing appears the same in every picture.  You grow and mature, locations are weathered by the elements.
Life continues.
Cherish old photos.
Take new ones.
Savor every moment.
Say ‘cheese’ with your parents.
Put your arm around your siblings.
Continue to take sweet photographs.

And see life through the thankful looking glass.