Hardwired vs. Hot-wired

~ Alibrandi Dawn ~ Leave a comment

As the new year rolled in, Michael and I have been talking about dreams we want to pursue, how we spend our time, and how far God has brought us. It’s had us thinking back too. We’ve begun to ask ourselves (& each other) why we do certain things, say certain things, and think certain ways (marriage is the ultimate close up lol).

We got to talking about insecurities, mentalities, & habits that we’ve carried for so long, we didn’t even realize they weren’t natural parts of us. As we started to see what was holding us back, that’s when we realized; You can live how you were hard-wired, or you can live how you’ve been hot-wired.

Hardwiring is a design process that’s meant to be permanent.
Hot-wiring is a tampering process, making something (or perhaps someone) function in a way it’s not meant to.

As God has been revealing to us who He’s created us to be, He’s showing us how He designed (hard-wired) us to live our lives, in community, sharing with others, pursuing passions that glorify Him. Those should never change. He’s revealing the experiences and lessons He’s given us that have continued to design us along the way. Some trials grew our faith, some experiences stretched our patience, and still others taught us to be more grateful. This is God continually working in our hearts and our resilience.

But some things were holding us back…
some hurtful comments that cut deep, some friendships broke trust, and some things not panning out the way we hoped discouraged us more than we knew.

God is revealing these things in our lives have ‘hot-wired’ us to live in ways that shelter our insecurities. Whether it was an insensitive comment, broken trust, or failure of some kind; we, unknowingly in the moment, allow some experiences to tamper with how we see ourselves and in turn, how we act. It might not have been one tragic event that changed you, it was probably a series of small things that made you slowly doubt yourself. Or maybe it’s simply the culture you’re absorbing that pressures you to try and be someone you’re not. Song lyrics, instagram posts, tv shows, etc. can discourage us with unrealistic expectations. When we don’t fulfill them, we lose confidence. Instead of pushing our limits, they cause us to withdraw. Instead of building our faith, they question it, if we let them.

There are plenty of difficult experiences in our lives that God uses to build us and grow us for good, but people are sinners & some things leave scars. Someone may have broken your trust, but someone else desperately wants to trust you. Someone may have said something hurtful, but someone else wants to encourage you, and your hot-wired ears aren’t hearing it because somewhere deeper, you already don’t believe it. Someone may have said you can’t, but with God you can.

I like taking time at the beginning of each year to reflect and refocus, but this has felt different. It’s felt like a season of washing away old things that are in the way of the new things. There is still so much progress to be made in our lives. This post isn’t to drag you through every story of when we’ve been hurt, it’s just our realization that we have some choices in how much we let things affect us. Whether it was our own sin or the affect of someone else’s, we don’t have to go on living defensively. Jesus has fully defended us on the cross.

I wanted to share this little reminder so as we’re still beginning this year and you’re still deciding on your resolutions/goals or facing the challenge of actually tackling them, your main goal is to live the way God designed you; not how instagram filtered you, not how so-and-so said you should, & not in fear of what’s to come. Clear our the old lies & live the way God is hardwiring you, in His truth.

God says we are His children.
Galatians 4:7 //3:26 // Ephesians 1:5 // John 1:12 // 1 John 3:1-2

God says He loves us
John 3:16

He has a plan for each of us
Jeremiah 1:5 // 29:11

We are created in His image
Genesis 1:27 // Ephesians 2:10 //

He has saved & forgiven us
Galatians 2:20 // Ephesians 2:1-10 // 2 Corinthians 5:21

We aren’t perfect or capable of anything alone, but with God, you’ve been made for so much more than you’ve been hot-wired to believe. God is sovereign, He already knows what’s in your heart, so release it back into His hands.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

“And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.”
Isaiah 30:21 ESV

1.31.2020

2020 Vision

~ Alibrandi Dawn ~ Leave a comment

I may have bawled my eyes out through the entirety of the movie The Art of Racing in the Rain (I recommend it, but have tissues on hand.) but I did manage to note a few lines that struck me. This one is my favorite:

“The car goes where your eyes go.”

I’m not one to lay out a five year step by step plan or narrow my yearly vision too tightly because my weakness is a tendency to get so consumed by the detail of those things that I get tunnel vision and miss other opportunities. I want to be open to new routes along the way, but there is so much truth to setting your focus on where you want to go, what you want to accomplish, and who you want to be to keep your vision clear.

Thinking about a goal once or twice in passing doesn’t make it enough to motivate your choices along the way.

Driving, boating, flying, horse-back riding; whatever you expect to carry you, it goes where you set your gaze. You can’t look at the steering wheel and expect to stay in your lane, or look at your feet and run a marathon. And you can’t focus on the distractions to your left or right and expect to keep moving forward. It’s a pretty basic rule of good driving, but how easy it is to forget in our daily busy lives where distractions and unexpected events seem endless.

As this new year rolls in, it feels like the perfect time for us to be encouraged to lift our eyes intentionally. To evaluate where we’ve come from and what we’ve learned and seek out some new goals. To reset ourselves to be open to what God is trying to show us on the horizon and work on following through.

When I was in flight lessons my instructor used to remind me to look forward with a simple rule: “10% cockpit instruments, 90% window.” The time and attention we spend planning, thinking, or researching should be much smaller than the time we spend actually working ahead and looking at where we need to go.

You can’t look at a planner with carefully crafted lists and plans and schedules and expect any of its color coated dreams to magically come to fruition. You’ve got to set your eyes where you want to go, and then actually hit the gas.

Stop and take a look at your surroundings today. Who’s behind you cheering you on toward your goals? Who’s in the lane next to you supporting you along the way? Now look ahead.

Where are your eyes going?

My 2020 vision is to have a more clear awareness of my Lord’s presence and His love for me. To act more selflessly as a wife & friend. & continue posting at least once a month to continue exercising my writing.

Happy New Year friends! Thanks for helping me reach 2019’s goal of publishing one post a month!

12.31.2019

Small Business Saturday // Holiday Gift Guide!

~ Alibrandi Dawn ~ Leave a comment

The holidays always sneak up on me, but this year November just FLEW by! Things have been understandably busy so this will just be a quick & practical post because I thought it would be perfect with today being Small Business Saturday and Christmas quickly approaching to do a holiday gift guide!

So here are a few of my favorite gifts or places to buy gifts! Some, but not all, of the following are sponsored partnerships that I personally benefit from, but all genuinely have my support and favorable opinion!

The Commandment Co. You’ve seen the name here before, The Commandment Co. has amazing gifts to share scripture from post cards to home pieces and TODAY November 30th is the LAST day to use code ALIBRANDI10 for 10% off your purchase! The Nightlight is probably my favorite piece that’s currently adorning my desk

God’s Fingerprints You’ll be hearing lots more about this sweet shop from me later this week, but their sale prices to celebrate Small Business Saturday this weekend are up to 50% off! You can shop their beautiful site here!

MONAT It’s no secret I’m also a Market Partner with MONAT promoting quality vegan hair & skin care and I absolutely LOVE every product I’ve used. Our Holiday Gift Sets are selling out fast because they’re worth so much more than they actually cost and the products are gifts that your friends & family will love and get to enjoy long after the holidays! You can shop my site here or simply e-mail me with questions or a list of what you’d like to order! alibrandidawn@gmail.com

Finally for today, BespokenStudio My dear friend Mandy is an insanely talented graphic illustrator and her love for the Lord shows through every piece of her stunning work! You can shop her prints on ETSY & follow her shop for updates on instagram!

That’s all folks! I hope this guide inspired you to give some meaningful, inspiring, and useful gifts while helping you save money along the way! If you have a small business and would like to be featured in my next guide or partner with me in any way please reach out! alibrandidawn@gmail.com
Let’s chat!

Happy Shopping!
11.30.2019

Handling the Unexpected

~ Alibrandi Dawn ~ Leave a comment

It’s nearly over and yet I can barely believe it’s already October! It hasn’t truly sunk in that it’s time for this month’s blog post to be live because it just hasn’t sunk in that it’s actually October.

I’m going to start this post with a confession.

I’m behind on my goals. My ‘one book per month’ goal is hanging on by a thread. I finished September’s book in late October and I’ve only just started another. This blog post is also not what I had planned because what I planned is just too incomplete and will be saved for another month.

So here’s to hoping that somewhere in November with lots of coffee and amongst breaks in moving I can catch up on my book count and spend more time writing!

Did I say moving? Yes we’re moving!

Thus the unexpected delay in meeting other goals and challenge of tackling new ones…

We did have some notice of this of course because it’s such a long process, but it became reality unexpectedly quickly and has been full of unexpected challenges, to-dos, and questions that have all become life lessons along the way.

This process has been so humbling for me as someone who likes to be ‘in control’ or at least live in that illusion…. So many elements of this have depended on other people’s decisions, waiting for answers, approval of inspectors & HOA’s, and demanding expenses. But it’s been a reassuring experience that ultimately God is in control. It’s His plan when things fall through, it’s His plan even when we don’t know where to go next, and it’s His plan when we’re mentally exhausted and reaching out to Him for help.

I’m learning to not miss God’s grace and my need for Him everyday. When you’re hit with unexpected challenges and realize you truly don’t have control over your circumstances, you’re forced to simply focus on your reaction. Am I trusting & honoring God in my attitude? In how I face this challenge? In my expectations of how this process would go?

So this month’s blog post is just a little snippet of the lesson I’m somewhere in the middle of learning. Are you resting in the fact that God is in control? Are you walking in that truth joyfully, even when you don’t know where that will take you? Because it’s totally worth it!

10.31.2019

Typography Testimonies // The Commandment Co.

~ Alibrandi Dawn ~ Leave a comment

Sponsored post ahead!

We have so many avenues in our daily life to express our style and creativity! What if they could also be testimonies of our faith?
A unique phone case can start a conversation, a postcard can brighten a friend’s day miles away, or a notebook can be a sweet gift to encourage someone. But what if we could use every one of those things to remind whoever sees it of God’s love for them?

I’ve partnered with The Commandment Co. to help you do just that!

The Commandment Co. is an online Christian shop based in Singapore who’s goal is to share scripture on every item they sell! Their products range from things we use everyday like keychains, tote bags, & water bottles, to things we decorate our home with like banners, coasters, & cushion covers, to thoughtful gifts like mugs, jewelry, and postcards!

Here’s a couple of their products that are my personal favorites!

Come to Me & I Will Give You Rest Night Light

Y’all how sweet is that glow?! I love the natural wood frame & the clarity of the scripture on the glass. It has an attached usb cord so you don’t have to constantly replace batteries and you can either plug it into the wall like you would with your phone charger or if you’d rather display it on your desk it can plug directly into a laptop and has a button on the cord for convenience!

This Night Light is also available in four other designs to let your light shine with the pattern of your choice! I especially love to display scripture in my home and this piece immediately catches everyone’s eye!

Modi Case iphone Films

I already have a clear phone case that I like to display polaroids in and even used to hand-paint mini pictures for to display scripture. Well The Commandment Co has just saved me a ton of time and totally outdone my artistic attempts with these Modi Case iphone Films. You can purchase the clear case from their site and then mix and match your choose of background film and scripture film to create your own displays of God’s Word!

I love that the modi-case system is not just customizable, but the size is cut perfectly to completely align with the frame of my phone, and the clear case adds a glossy finish so it shines beautifully!

Postcards!

Snail mail is still alive! And these postcards are going to brighten every mailbox you send them to!

I’m so impressed with the quality of these cards! The card-stock is thick with a matte texture so the gold embossed scriptures stand out beautifully against their backgrounds! Plus there’s plenty of space on the back to write your own message to a blessed recipient! & if you find some designs you don’t want to let go of (like I did!) they make a great print to frame and decorate your home!

I hope some of these treasures have caught your eye and you’ll head over to The Commandment Co to get started on your Christmas shopping and use code ALIBRANDI10 for 10% off your entire order! Now through November 30th only!

Make sure to tag me on instagram with photos of your purchases!

9.29.2019

(This is a paid partnership with The Commandment Co! I received these items complimentary to write a review and will receive compensation for my work but all opinions are genuinely my own!)

Weathering the Storm

~ Alibrandi Dawn ~ Leave a comment

Floridians, you know the drill. A tropical depression turns into a tropical storm and it’s a buzz of conversation. Then it turns into a hurricane and it’s a constant rain of questions; what category it is, what track it’s on, how fast the winds are, what stores are out of water, and who’s still selling gas?

Then, we wait.

One of the most difficult parts about hurricane season is the not knowing. The waiting, questioning, and anticipation for something that we really don’t know anything about. It could slow down, speed up, turn away, turn toward us, or break up over the ocean and never really “hit”. These storms are out of our control and can’t be accurately predicted. Every warning is an abundance of caution because these storms have the potential to swell up or change direction so quickly.

The emotions and changes of life often feel like hurricane season. We end up rushing to prepare last minute, we stress and prepare for things that never happen, or we think our survival depends on us and how well we prepared, when it doesn’t.

Other times it’s more devastating or comes more quickly than we expect, all of our preparations can’t prevent challenges and trials, and even in a season of rebuilding or heartbreak, we aren’t in control.

Before learning that hurricane Dorian is approaching, we also learned we have to move and dove into the buying/renting market a little sooner than expected and finding a place has felt like hurricane prep. Despite knowing this would one day happen, we didn’t think it would be so fast or feel so pressing and it’s still subject to change any moment. We can look for places, research, compare and stress till our minds are simply exhausted, but we really aren’t in control of when this move will happen or where we’ll go. Anxiety feels so real, but it really doesn’t help. God has a plan and He ultimately provides.

Though we want to be good stewards the same way we stock up on water and gas and put up our shutters for a storm we can’t see, our attitude in the challenges of life and waiting for a hurricane should reflect the state of our heart, and that should be of complete trust in God.

Weathering the storm is often silent and uneventful; it’s waiting for an ever changing event with no timeline, one of the most prominent times to be a walking testimony of how we trust the Lord. So as you settle down and wait, remember who holds your heart and your home. Let the attitude of your heart speak of an abundance of trust in the Lord who cares for you, who settles storms, and provides for all trials.

Praying you have water, gas, and comfort food, but even more so that you’re using this hurricane season to press into the Lord.
Trust Him & be safe my friends.

8.30.2019

Young Love // Building Our Life Together

~ Alibrandi Dawn

“Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10a NKJV

The park in these photos is the same one we had our engagement photos taken at. It struck me during this photo shoot, about a year and a half since our engagement shoot, how much life has changed; how much closer we’ve become, & particularly how getting married at a young age has strengthened our foundation for the future.

There’s a lot we don’t know about how the world works because we’re so young, but we’re learning to navigate the challenges it throws our way while supporting (and thankfully being supported by) another soul. 

A personal example for us is buying a home.  Neither of us have done this before and we’re in the process of researching where to even begin.  We’re learning together what it looks like to qualify for a mortgage, budget for household utilities & insurance, and how to be prepared for things like the kitchen pipes bursting or a/c leaking.  Our ideas of a “dream home” are different too. Michael’s two story super-house and my sky lit open-floor-plan-kitchen farmhouse don’t mesh well. So if you opened Zillow on both of our phones, you’d see lots of different results and favorited homes.  But if you look on the laptop where we search ‘together’ you’d get a pretty literal picture of what compromise looks like. Because more than any picturesque dream home, we both want to share a home that’s ours.

Every decision, every word, every day affects another soul rather than just our own.  Sometimes this responsibility is like navigating rapids, but it’s made us better as two than we ever were as one. Rather than adding another piece to our previous lives, we’re building a new life together.  We’re creating our own traditions, experiencing things for the first time together, and facing challenges together.

I recently heard Jeremy Roloff say, (though he might have been quoting someone else) 

“Marriage wasn’t designed to make you happy, it was designed to make you holy.”

Happiness is a beautiful by-product of marriage, but the intent is actually to make us more like our Lord.  We cannot intentionally change or “fix” each other to fit our expectations or routines. Our relationship & pursuit of the Lord together makes us more humble,honest,& holy from the inside out every day. It makes us US, & it makes us more like Jesus.

My role as a wife is to labor alongside my husband, to know what his dreams are, to encourage Him to look to the Lord, and to pray for him.  It’s my privilege to lift him up when he falls to reach for his hand when I fall, and to build our life, not just my own. Getting married young means building habits together that a couple who gets married later on may have already formed and have to re-build as one.  We are discovering how the world works together, and figuring out what “us” looks like along the way.

We aren’t the youngest couple to ever get married, and we definitely aren’t experts. We do have first-hand experience with the challenges and joys of getting married young and love to share with others and answer questions! So that’s the format I’m taking with the rest of this post; answering your questions!

Q: How do you communicate when you’re both mad/upset at each other?

Our initial response to this question was a giggly “we don’t.” Or at least, we didn’t at first. We are both the type to shut down and bottle feelings into a sassy silent treatment. But after a few vice versa instances where we got a taste of our medicine, I think we got too desperate to know what the other was thinking and started to break this mold by asking questions and building the habit of listening until the other was completely finished sharing. (still working on that).

We both still need a little time to let off steam, but we’re learning that it’s not worth the time we lose enjoying each other to hold onto our anger. Breaking the silence usually starts with one of us coming to sit in the same room as the other and asking, “What are you feeling right now?” and working out what the root of the problem is that needs to be apologized for and addressed going forward.

We recently added a tool to our marriage arsenal called The Marriage Journal(not an affiliate link <— I simply love & want to share this resource) it has a set of questions we ask each other weekly. Knowing this time is set aside to build our communication skills and our understanding of the other person’s feelings & desires has helped us not to sweat the small stuff and have uninterrupted time to discuss the big stuff. Now this doesn’t mean we hold onto all our hurts & issues for the week, but it has helped us create a space to work through them.

Q: What to do in a time of waiting for the person you’ll marry?

I think it’s been said many times, but be content in the Lord.  He is going to provide the person, the job, the clarity and whatever else you feel like you’re waiting for, but He’s already provided Himself. If you’re not content with Him while you’re single, you won’t be content with Him in marriage.  Ultimately, you’ll never find contentment apart from Him. Take advantage of this time to build your relationship with Him! Get to know Him, learn to recognize His voice, and let Him teach you who He designed you to be. Also, let Him build your character; become the person you’re looking for, is looking for.

Study scripture, practice forgiveness, & build friendships that will support & challenge you. Pray for the person you’ll marry, before you know them, and not just for what you want them to be, but for whatever they’re learning or experiencing. Pray that they feel God’s love, that they’re content in Him, that they have strength for whatever trials they could be facing, etc. Pray for them as a person, not just to be your person.

Q: How to decide that you’re in the appropriate season of life to get married?

I love how this question was phrased because there really is no ‘right’ or ‘perfect’ time to get married!  God has a unique relationship designed for each couple so the appropriate season can look different for everyone

First off, prayer. If you know your Heavenly Father’s voice, you’ll know if He’s asking you to be still or move forward.  

Secondly, assuming you’re dating and deciding to get engaged, conversation.  A relationship headed toward marriage requires transparency. If you’re sharing honestly your past, dreams, and praying together you’ll know what conversations still need to be had or growth still needs to happen.  I don’t think there are any particular prerequisites for marriage like finishing college or traveling to x amount of countries, or having x amount of savings in the bank. Many of those things are ways to build your life together, but they can also be a measurement of your maturity. If you have some goals, set them, pursue them, and knock those out first!

I pray this testimony encourages you & brings you clarity.  Feel free to comment or e-mail your questions for future posts you’d like to read!

7.31.2019

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